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olaiya1089
15 Jul, 2022
erotic energy has political potential
sex and erotic energy has a purpose outside of procreating
we become healed during an erotic exchange
many people who identify as pleasure activists only focus on the sexual aspect of pleasure politics and ignore other areas of life
while this is important the reality is that we should center the erotic should in all aspects of our lives
people frequently misread audre lorde’s essay “uses of the erotic: the erotic as power” as being purely about sex but i believe that she was theorizing that our whole lives can be erotic and juicy and luscious not just our bedroom lives (though our bedroom lives are certainly important and we can use the energy cultivated there and filter into other spaces of life)
we can become activated by erotic energy
we can become replenished by it and have the energy we need to annihilate the systems that we live under, such as neoliberalism and white patriarchal capitalism
when this energy lies dormant within us it festers and can affect us negatively
and we can feel stifled, forlorn, and restless
erotic energy can also be released in other ways outside of sex
art making, for example, can be an erotic act as well as teaching or any other kind of energetic exchange
anytime we are filling our cups we are contributing to our overall well being
and we are moving the earth closer towards utopia
when we are empty and depleted, we fall flat on our faces because we are exhausted
we don’t have the energy to show up for ourselves, let alone rupturing systems
this is why cultivating a pleasure practice that emphasizes the erotic is so important
in order for us to blossom into more pleasurable people and birth a more pleasurable world
follow yr pleasure at all costs/it will never lead you in the wrong direction
developing a pleasure mindset is a practice of self-worth and fights against self-abnegation
our lives are not meant to be full of suffering
movement 1: making a pleasure pact
it was a soft sunday morning in april when i decided to leave new york city
i woke up miserable and full of regret
why the fuck was i here?
why the fuck was i paying money out my pocket to live here?
i waz working at job that did not satisfy me
i had been hanging out with a toxic group of friends who smiled in my face and talked about me like a damn dog behind my back
i didn’t have a real social life
my love life and sex life were non-existent
i was in an arts program working with an artist that i couldn’t stand
why the fuck was i here?
i couldn’t think of any reason to continue to live in a place where i waz so unhappy
maybe it wasn’t the geographical location
maybe it was me
maybe i was blossoming at a speed that the city couldn’t keep up with
whatever it was/i knew i needed a change
i knew i needed to make many changes
so i made a pleasure pact with myself
a pleasure pact is when you make promise with yrself to take actionable steps towards enhancing the pleasure in yr life
the actionable steps don’t have to be immediate
making a pleasure pact is an act of introspection
there may be certain aspects of yr life that you can’t change but you can focus on the things that you do have the power to transform
i wrote down a list of things that i wanted to change in my life
the list looked something like this:
GET THE FUCK OUTTA NEW YORK!!! (maybe go to philly?)
travel to at least one place a year that I really want to go to (if not more)
find a job that is more aligned with who i am (i.e. teaching, community organizing, etc.)
these were just a few of things that i made a pleasure pact about
my decision to move was not irrational or out of the blue
i had thought about it for a long time and i didn’t leave until months later
but writing down the things that i wanted in my life was like spellcasting for me
i was manifesting a more pleasurable life for myself
here are some ways you can make a pleasure pact with yrself:
make time to dream and fantasize
write down some ways that you can expand the pleasure in yr life ((you can also draw or audio record yrself; use whatever medium feels right for you)
think of actionable steps that you can take to make yr pleasure pact a reality
here are some questions that can guide you in yr pleasure pact-making:
1. what are the ways that yr peace has been disrupted; how can you reclaim it?
2. what or whom no longer serves you? what things or people in yr life do you want to get rid of?
3. what bad habits do you need to become more aware of and break? what ways are you punishing yrself for past mistakes? what cycles need to be broken?
when we identify the ways that pleasure is missing form our lives/we can begin to extract all the unnecessary things that don’t serve us and release that negative energy so that we can allow more positive energy to flow into our lives
i want to emphasize that this is a practice and is not instantaneous but when sustained it can have deeply gratifying effects
the more orgasmic and erotic our individual lives become, the more orgasmic and erotic the world becomes
the more sensual we as human beings become, the more sensual the world becomes
by practicing softness, we make the world into a softer place; the journey to living in a utopic world starts with every one of us
a million small rocks being thrown into a river at once can make a mighty splash
movement 2: having a pleasure mindset
having a pleasure mindset means believing that you are worthy of and deserve pleasure
and that life is to be lived fabulously, luxuriously, joyfully, and abundantly
life could be easy/we as human beings make it hard
we overcomplicate things
life is not short/it’s expansive/we make it small
life is not linear/ it’s full of a thousand concentric circles
unlearning is important in reprogramming ourselves; many of us have been brainwashed by society to think we have to live unpleasurable lives to be successful or fulfilled
this way of thinking impedes upon our pleasure
for example if you grew up in a sexually conservative household and the values you were taught don’t serve you any longer you may want to unlearn them and allow yrself to explore yr sexuality (safely and consensually of course)
or if you were raised to believe that you have to be productive all the time, you may want to unlearn that and allow yrself to take more time to rest
if someone oversteps yr boundaries, that is a sign of disrespect and a major red flag; you might decide it is best to distance yrself from people who don’t respect yr boundaries
when yr peace is disrupted it depletes yr energy
there is nothing more important than yr personal peace and pleasure
when you are at peace and living in pleasure/it makes the world a more peaceful, pleasurable place to inhabit
coda
life is not about sacrifice/don’t believe the lies/don’t believe the hype
center yr pleasure at all costs/yr life literally depends on it
these are the ethics/values/and principles that guide me
these concepts undergird everything that i do
what are yr pleasure principles?
i am a blk gurrrl in search of utopia
i won’t settle for anything less than paradise
the last two years have perhaps been the most unpleasurable in the history of my life
i have been stressed out/depressed/anxious and just generally unhappy
i am hungry for something more
i crave adventure
i crave fluidity
i crave a change of pace and new energy
i want to live my most abundant/joyful/pleasurable life
i know that we all do
bur how can we get there?
how can we transform ourselves and the world to be a more pleasurable place?
movement 1: what are the barriers to pleasure?
we live in an anti-pleasure world
the matrix of domination that we operate under does not center pleasure
it centers product
the roots of capitalist productivity have puritanical underpinnings
the puritans believed that a person achieved favor with god thru how much they labored
the idea of american exceptionalism is rooted in this ideology
early americans saw this country as a “city on a hill” that towered over and looked down upon other nations because of the so-called american work ethic
the lie that we have been told is that if we work hard we will get far
but we know that this country is rooted in white heteronormative cisnormative patriarchal capitalism and not everyone is meant to get a piece of the pie or ascend to paradise
the great conundrum then is that only certain people are allowed to “go far” while others, because of their race/gender/sexuality/class work just as hard and settle for less
all my life i have worked hard but this has not garnered any personal happiness
i am a single 33-year-old black trans womxn
i live in a small studio apartment
i have tons of student debt
my success in navigating systems has yielded little pleasure
and so the question i find myself asking is what waz it all for?
now don’t get me wrong
i am grateful for all that i have (i will discuss gratitude and abundance in later essays)
i love my mind
i love who i am
i love myself despite the structures that i am forced to live under
and this is where pleasure starts
inside ourselves/not outside
when we look inward/we find hidden treasures
our interior lives are powerful and give us sustenance to keep going
when we stop focusing on outward productivity and focus on our own internal processes we are practicing pleasure/we are tapping into a primal way of being
movement 2: tapping into an ancient self
it is my belief that earth waz once a utopia
a utopia that we as a human race yearn to get back to
scientifically speaking human beings were not made to work a 40 hour work week or go to school for 40 hours a week
we were all hunters and gatherers once
migrating from place to place
living off the land and taking care of it
our bodies and brains were not made to labor
we were made to love
were made to live our most pleasurable/joyful/abundant lives
this is our birthright
this is why we are here
capitalism is a distraction
it keeps us occupied so that we forget our true mission and destiny
we don’t know how to take care of ourselves or each other
we are slaves to time and money
we think there are limited resources
but if we look at the natural world
the world that we have been cut off from
we would know that this is a lie
if we were not bamboozled by this bullshit system
we would know a lot of things
we are cut off from our own internal wisdom
the external has become privileged over the internal in this empire called america
under this trash ass system called global capitalism
movement 3: the future is a utopia
the past waz a utopia and so the future shall be one as well
what we are experiencing now is rebirth
and rebirth is messy
it is not clean or precise
but the process can and should be pleasurable
because what’s on the other side is beautiful
the other side is joy
the other side is pure unadulterated pleasure
and we can get there when we divest from systems and ideologies that no longer serve us
and when we invest in our own pleasure
we must annihilate to rebuild
we must break down to be rebirthed
it is only then that we can manifest our own personal paradise
and make the world into a utopia
oh how sweet that day will be
oh how sweet
coda
i am a blk gurrrl in search of utopia
i won’t settle for anything less than paradise
doing pleasure work is holy
it is a practice
it is a journey
journeys are so much better when you go on them with other people
