We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this post.

prelude

follow yr pleasure at all costs/it will never lead you in the wrong direction

developing a pleasure mindset is a practice of self-worth and fights against self-abnegation

our lives are not meant to be full of suffering

movement 1: making a pleasure pact

it was a soft sunday morning in april when i decided to leave new york city

i woke up miserable and full of regret

why the fuck was i here?

why the fuck was i paying money out my pocket to live here?

i waz working at job that did not satisfy me

i had been hanging out with a toxic group of friends who smiled in my face and talked about me like a damn dog behind my back

i didn’t have a real social life

my love life and sex life were non-existent

i was in an arts program working with an artist that i couldn’t stand

why the fuck was i here?

i couldn’t think of any reason to continue to live in a place where i waz so unhappy

maybe it wasn’t the geographical location

maybe it was me

maybe i was blossoming at a speed that the city couldn’t keep up with

whatever it was/i knew i needed a change

i knew i needed to make many changes

so i made a pleasure pact with myself

a pleasure pact is when you make promise with yrself to take actionable steps towards enhancing the pleasure in yr life

the actionable steps don’t have to be immediate

making a pleasure pact is an act of introspection

there may be certain aspects of yr life that you can’t change but you can focus on the things that you do have the power to transform

i wrote down a list of things that i wanted to change in my life

the list looked something like this:

1. GET THE FUCK OUTTA NEW YORK!!! (maybe go to philly?)
2. travel to at least one place a year that I really want to go to (if not more)
3. find a job that is more aligned with who i am (i.e. teaching, community organizing, etc.)

these were just a few of things that i made a pleasure pact about

my decision to move was not irrational or out of the blue

i had thought about it for a long time and i didn’t leave until months later

but writing down the things that i wanted in my life was like spellcasting for me

i was manifesting a more pleasurable life for myself

here are some ways you can make a pleasure pact with yrself:

1. make time to dream and fantasize
2. write down some ways that you can expand the pleasure in yr life ((you can also draw or audio record yrself; use whatever medium feels right for you)
3. think of actionable steps that you can take to make yr pleasure pact a reality

here are some questions that can guide you in yr pleasure pact-making:

1. what are the ways that yr peace has been disrupted; how can you reclaim it?

2. what or whom no longer serves you? what things or people in yr life do you want to get rid of?

3. what bad habits do you need to become more aware of and break? what ways are you punishing yrself for past mistakes? what cycles need to be broken?

when we identify the ways that pleasure is missing form our lives/we can begin to extract all the unnecessary things that don’t serve us and release that negative energy so that we can allow more positive energy to flow into our lives

i want to emphasize that this is a practice and is not instantaneous but when sustained it can have deeply gratifying effects

when we live more pleasurable lives it is like a ripple effect

the more orgasmic and erotic our individual lives become, the more orgasmic and erotic the world becomes

the more sensual we as human beings become, the more sensual the world becomes

by practicing softness, we make the world into a softer place; the journey to living in a utopic world starts with every one of us

a million small rocks being thrown into a river at once can make a mighty splash

movement 2: having a pleasure mindset

having a pleasure mindset means believing that you are worthy of and deserve pleasure

and that life is to be lived fabulously, luxuriously, joyfully, and abundantly

life could be easy/we as human beings make it hard

we overcomplicate things

life is not short/it’s expansive/we make it small

life is not linear/ it’s full of a thousand concentric circles

unlearning is important in reprogramming ourselves; many of us have been brainwashed by society to think we have to live unpleasurable lives to be successful or fulfilled

this way of thinking impedes upon our pleasure

for example if you grew up in a sexually conservative household and the values you were taught don’t serve you any longer you may want to unlearn them and allow yrself to explore yr sexuality (safely and consensually of course)

or if you were raised to believe that you have to be productive all the time, you may want to unlearn that and allow yrself to take more time to rest

if someone oversteps yr boundaries, that is a sign of disrespect and a major red flag; you might decide it is best to distance yrself from people who don’t respect yr boundaries

when yr peace is disrupted it depletes yr energy

there is nothing more important than yr personal peace and pleasure

when you are at peace and living in pleasure/it makes the world a more peaceful, pleasurable place to inhabit

coda

life is not about sacrifice/don’t believe the lies/don’t believe the hype

center yr pleasure at all costs/yr life literally depends on it